Heat
by BookOfXcentric
Summary: What is going on with Kurama? He's being a sarcastic demon. Hiei giggles like a mad man and the rest are simply freaked out. Slight HiKura but only if you twist it that way. This is completely ridiculous.


**Anime/Manga: **Yu Yu Hakusho  
**Genre: **Humor/Parody  
**Characters: **Kurama, Hiei, Yuusuke, Kuwabara, Botan, Keiko  
**Warning: **This is the product of my bored, sugar high, insomniac brain... Be afraid of the OOC, be very afraid, though I've seen worse...  
**Rating: **Teen (rated for implications)  
**Dedication: **Evelina this is for you, I blame you for the existence of this _weeeiiiird_ fic anyway, You messed up my head you freaky ADHD person. But I love you! (Not in that way!)  
**Disclaimer: **Seriously, would I be writing fanfiction if I owned YYH?  
**A/N: **First YYH fic. So no flamies, Capiche!  
I love Kuramas name. In the English Anime they sometimes lose the 'u' when they say it so it sounds like Krama which means 'hug' in my language.)

**Quote of the fic:  
**_"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."  
- _Unknown

OXXXO

Bright sun shine, glittering lakes, a cloudless sky and bird song. It was the perfect day for an outing.

Summer vacation had begun only two weeks ago and things around town had been fairly quiet for the reikai tantei since then. No tournaments. No demons trying to take over the human world or worse, end the three worlds. No over compensating hyperactive toddlers who think every little thing with the human world is wrong and needs correcting.

Needless to say the group was bored out of their minds.

The outing had been Botan's idea. She had found the four boys in the park; Yusuke and Kuwabara relaxing in the sun, drinking orange juice. Kurama and Hiei sitting perched on a wooden branch each in one of the park trees, looking more like lazy demons then relaxing teenagers, which in a way made perfect sense.

To stop this moral decline, in Yusuke and Kuwabara, she decided to drag them along on a mountains side picnic.  
Kurama and Hiei she deemed a lost cause, they were demons thus didn't have any moral to begin with. Though they still tagged along, mainly because the two were so bored they would do just about anything for some excitement in life, even attempt world domination again. If it had been possible to do without getting punished by Koenma and thrown in the Reikai demon prison for the upcoming 300 years or so.

So, here they were now at the foot of Mt Fuji staring out over the glittering water of Lake Kawaguchi. Botan had decided that Aokigahara would be a 'wonderful' place for a picnic, though her only reason for choosing that location was to please Hiei and Kurama. It was after all a perfect place for two demons.

Botan and Keiko, who had also been invited, stretched and took a deep breath of the fresh mountain air.

"Botan-chan" Keiko smiled "Thank you for inviting me."

The shinigami flashed a sparkling smile in the other girls direction and dismissively waved her hand "Oh no, Keiko-chan this wouldn't have been any fun at all without you."

The two girls continued to chat with each other as they took lead of the group moving along the path with no clear destination in mind.

Yusuke and Kuwabara walked in their tow, since the two had been moaning and bitching about the whole thing they got the task of carrying everyone's packing. Lets say they didn't go quietly, they kept complaining: 'It's heavy' 'Can we rest?' 'Are we there yet?' 'My feet hurt.' 'I need to pee.'

Hiei and Kurama where last. The demons walked next to each other in silence Hiei being bored waiting for Kuwabara to keel over under the weight of the packing and Kurama simply enjoying nature, being surrounded by plants made him feel comfortable and content.

He let the calm feeling of the forest seep into his soul. The plants in this area were so full of life, the leafs' of trees and bushes flourishingly green and the colours on the flowers so bright they could temporarily blind you.

Suddenly something beat within Kurama. It wasn't his heart but rather something much deeper, instinctive. A hot flash surged through his body, the warm painfully pleasurable feeling spread through out his entire being creating a feverish flush to be witnessed on his face.

He knew this feeling inside and out, he had felt on several occasions as Youko but had only experienced it once since he took on the feigned form of 'Shuuichi'.

Hiei grabbed his arm effectively halting him. "Your smell has changed fox." he hissed out through gritted teeth.

Said fox simply nodded "It seems it's time." he whispered with a sigh. Hiei gave him and inquiring look.

Kurama sent the fire demon a mischievous knowing smirk "My body feels hot yet cold, I feel both pain and pleasure at the same time." he explained.

Hiei frowned and bit his lip "Oh no, not now." knowing exactly what the other was implying. This wasn't good, would the humans survive it? Though it would be fun to see the humans tremble under Kuramas malicious intent.

The kitsune huffed "Say's the one who had it during the dark tournament."

If Hiei was ever the one to blush you may imagine him doing it now.

"Hey, you okay there Kurama? You look feverish." the Yusuke asked as he turned back to meet the two demons.

"Shut up, Ningen!" The fox snarled sending the boy a condescending look.

Yusuke blinked, stunned "Umm, Kurama that was kinda uncalled for. I only asked if you feel sick or something. You look like you have a fever but you're not pale at all..."

The red haired demon rolled his eyes and cut the boy off "Sorry Yusuke, Hiei and I are not fluent in Idiot so could you please speak more slowly?"

Whatever Yusuke were going to say didn't make it out through his lips. Kurama insulted him, Kurama of all people; he would have expected it from Hiei, but not from the gentle red head.

Pulling himself together he started forming the first question making it into his mind "Who are you and what have you done with Kurama?"

In the mean time the entire group had turned back to see what was going on between the other three.

The fox preformed another roll of his eyes "Seriously, Yusuke, it's better to let us all think you're an idiot then to open your mouth and prove it."

If it had been physically possible Yusukes chin would have been touching the ground by now, just as the majority of the groups. Apart from Hiei who where giggling like a mad man next to the fox demon.

Kuwabara was the first one to regain composure, he made a face and stepped forward "Hey Kurama what are you getting at, eh? Is this some kinda game, I didn't think you where one for childish games."

Kuramas eyes flashed dangerously in apparent irritation "Kuwabara, your face has always fascinated me in way, but what are you going to do when the baboon wants his ass back?"

Kuwabara preformed a rather interesting version of a double take, did the red head actually say that? Hiei where rolling around on the ground laughing, those humans had no idea what they were getting themselves into.

"Ehm Kurama, you're insulting everyone and it's not funny, it's bordering on mean" Botan cut in.

The fox simply raised a confused eyebrow in her direction "Pardon me, you have obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn."

"Hey stop being so fucking sarcastic it's not funny!" Kuwabara shouted. "And you don't treat a girl like that, even if it's Botan."

"Foolish ningen." Kurama sneered in a way that could make Hiei jealous "I'm not being sarcastic I'm being disrespectful, would you like a dictionary?"

The carrot top stepped back he had nothing more to counter with and no wish to injure his pride anymore.

"Ehm..." Yusuke was treading on very thin ice here as the fox turned to him, but at least he was being recognized that was a good sign, right? "You are actually being quite sarcastic."

For the first time in quite a while Kurama made a surprised expression "Yusuke..." The young man mentally cringed at how his name sounded coming out of the, for the time being, crazy demons mouth.

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing twice expecting different results." Kurama continued.

_'Whoooww!'_ Yusuke thought_ 'Sarcasm: Intellect on the offensive' _Well if Kurama could play that game so could he. He was The Urameshi Yusuke after all. "Smartass" he countered.

Kurama, who had, during the minutes it took for the Reigun user to think that up, turned his attention on Hiei who, the others noticed, didn't get insulted by the fox. Now he turned back to Yusuke "Yes, Yusuke" he said sounding more like the normal Kurama they all loved "I am smart but it has nothing to do with my ass."

The group promptly fell down this was never going to end.

"Hey, Kurama!" Keiko ventured prepared to snap at the fox, but a look from Hiei silenced her

"If I were you I wouldn't even try it. It's at your own risk girly."

Keiko opened and closed her mouth several times, no sound coming out.

Kurama pranced by them all as he began making his way back. They should get out of this forest, it where going to start raining in a few hours and they should probably be back in a more populated area by then.

The gang walked in silence, no one daring to say a word, anything you said could get thrown back in your face with vicious sarcasm. They had no idea what was going on, Kurama who was walking in the farthest back of the group, along with Hiei, still looked slightly feverish. That was the only thing apart from his sudden personality change that was obviously off about the fox.

"Hiei."

"Yes?"

"I'm hungry."

"What did you have in mind?"

The humans walking in front of them where silently listening in to the conversation going on between the two demons.

"I have this sudden urge for human flesh..." Kurama continued after a moment.

"Eeeeppp!" the group of humans exclaimed all backing up against a conveniently placed tree (they're in a forest, any tree would be conveniently placed) staring at the two.

The demons blinked at them astonishingly, then Hiei started rubbing his temples "Be my guest. You may have whichever of them you'd prefer."

"I don't know..." the fox sounded sceptic.

"Keiko." The fire demon offered. Keiko shrieked and clapped her hands over her mouth.

"Too scrawny." Was Kurama's answer.

"Botan?" Hiei asked. The shinigami whispered a distressed "Save me Koenma."

"Already dead."

Before Botan melted into Jello, in relief, she made a mental note to ask Koenma to turn the date of her death into a national holiday.

"Yusuke?"

Kurama shook his head vigorously "I don't want his bad habits. I might turn stupid and start to think that Spirit detective isn't a cheesy name and be all like 'save everyone's life' all the time."

"Hey!" The so called stupid Rei-gun user cried indignantly while the fire demon cringed. He couldn't allow that to ever happen, the fox was his only demonic sort-of-friend, he couldn't lose him to the damned humans.

"Then what about carrot top over there?" Hiei motioned towards Kuwabara.

"Eeeww, he's full of crap!"

Hiei seemed to ponder this for a while before he nodded in agreement "You're right, by the way I thought you didn't regularly eat humans."

"I usually don't. Mainly because it would feel weird to go out and have human flesh, and then go back to a human's house and digest." the fox explained.

Yusuke's eyes almost bulged out "You Seriously Eat People!" he exclaimed wide mouthed.

The two demons turned their attention on him. "Obviously." Hiei commented with a sarcastic roll of his eyes.

Kurama sighed "Yusuke, we're Demons. What did you expect; Sugar and spice, and all things nice?"

Some time later, after a lengthy discussion about how human flesh had gained a rather bitter aftertaste since they started using all that modern medicine the two demons decided to let the cravings be just that, cravings, and ate a chocolate bar instead. Much to the relief of said humans.

"Hiei?" Yusuke whispered

"Hn" Was the obvious answer from the shorter man.

"Do you know what's going on with Kurama, he's not himself?"

The fire demon smirked; finally some fun, he wondered how the detective would react to it "Imagine PMS and spin it from there."

The rei gun used seemed to ponder this for while then "Hiei, I don't know how to break this to you but Kurama is a boy, boys' don't have PMS, they have IMS."

"I'm surprised that you knew about that." Kurama commented flatly. _'Not that it has anything to do with my state right now.' _he thought.

Hiei face palmed. "I never said he had PMS, did I!" he snapped "I said spin it from there, you moron."

A long silence followed this.

"So what's going on?" Yusuke ventured awkwardly after a while.

"It's heat." The shorter man answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the three worlds.

Yusuke just stared at him "Well, yeah, he does look like he's a fever so he's probably hot." Hiei settled for a mental face palm this time, Yusuke really were an idiot. He motioned for the taller to lean in then whispered in his ear.

Yusuke recoiled with a shocked expression "He's what!" the teenager shrieked in a rather high pitch girly voice making the entire gang turn their attention on the two.

Hiei smirked evilly at the group then repeated slowly out loud: "Kurama is entering his mating season."

With that said the entire group, apart from our two favourite demons, promptly lapsed into unconsciousness.

"Can we leave them here? I'm not carrying them back." Hiei hissed.

The fox shrugged "Maybe you should have told them that fox demons can't mate with humans since we're nature based."

"Whatever... lets go eat sweet snow at your house, before it starts raining."

Kurama smiled prettily, almost sparkling "I want chocolate and azukimeshi flavoured!" he purred.

"Hn.., you really are in heat."

THE END!

**A/N:** That was weird, silly, ridiculous, ludicrous, insane and any other word which can be used to describe the state of this fic. I just made most things up along the way.  
**IMS **'Irritable Man Syndrome' look it up if you don't believe me, it actually exists.  
**Azukimeshi **or red bean paste is made from azuki beans and sugar and are some of fox demons most favorite foods (along with tofu and Aburaage) it also exists as an ice cream flavour.  
Look up **Aokigahara **on wikipedia and you'll understand why having a picnic there would please two demons.


End file.
